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Thought it would be cool if we posted some jokes for Enrique to give him a laugh or at least a smile!!
All jokes are welcome but please remember we have younger fans on the board as well, so not too dirty NC girls please...lol
Beware of older men - they only get wiser!
A woman decides to have a face lift in preparation of her 50th birthday.
She spends £15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home, she stops at a Paper shop to buy a newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the shopkeeper, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am
'About 32,' is the reply.'
'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into Morrison’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.'
The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50 - today actually.'
Now she's feeling really good about herself.. She stops at a Chemists on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some toothpaste and asks the counter girl this same burning question.
The girl responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.'
Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was.
It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.
Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are.'
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her.
She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully.
He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple.
He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay....How old am I?'
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, 'Madam, you are 50.'
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could you tell?'
The old man says……….
“I was stood behind you in Morrison’s” .......
Meant to be in spanish
Que dijo el pollo a otra pollo cuando cruzo la calle?
Ven PA CA!
Hopefully you understood my cheesy joke:P
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains she has practically make her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and every so gently lets out a very dainty fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, "Rover!".
The woman thought, "This is great! He thinks it's the dog!". A big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let out a much louder and longer rrrrrip.
The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Rover!". Once again the woman smiled and thought, "Yes! This is perfect!". A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it nor did she hold back. She ripped a fart so big and so loud that it made the windows vibrate.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Damn-it Rover get away from that woman before she shits on you!
I have some teenage nephews who will love this...LOL..yup, thanks N and N...Sarah
We are glad you like it & HOPE EI LIKE IT TOO..:D
Haha, this one is sooo funny! Hahah!
Lmao !! Totally loved it Nafi & Nasi, especially the ending!!
yes,...haha....Fart is the only thing that makes every body happy.