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Ok I need some help

This is a long story but I just need some help dealing with my parents if you don't want to read it I understand.

As some of you know, my parents are a tad overprotective. I have been living in my own apartment with my twin sister for 2 months now and we just started college last week.

Lately my parents have been very...how should I say it...annoying? I guess that works. This past week I have been really busy with work and school and so I haven't been able to go see them. Last night they came here and we had dinner and it was a great day. Today, I was planning on going over there to spend some time with my mom (my dad was working today) and help her bring the groceries in (for some reason she can't seem to do this on her own). So my sister called her this morning and told her to call us when she was going to the store. She never called so we called and told her we were headed over. I guess she left for the store then. On our way over I got a call from a friend, Megan, and she wanted to know if we wanted to hang out. I was like, "sure we are headed over towards you just pick us up at our mom's house" so I called mom and she didn't pick up. I left a message with the details of our plan change and when we got home she wasn't there and we left before she came back.

2 hours latter I get a phone call from my dad yelling at me saying that I'm treating them like sh*t and that I can't go to the concert anymore (yes he actually cussed at me which doesn't happen very often). So we head back home and our mom isn't even mad. Our dad is still yelling at me on the phone but can't for the life of him tell me what I did wrong. He's basically saying that I can't pull out on a comitment with my mom to go hang out with my friend (insidentally this is the only real friend I've had that truly seems interested in doing things with me). Well ok I wasn't aware that getting the groceries out of the car and taking them in the house was a commitment but whatever.

So that was laid to rest but never really resolved and we went back over to Megan's to watch a movie. It ended at midnight and we decided we wanted to watch another one. I texted my mom to tell her what was going on and she's like "you reallly think it's a good idea for you to be driving that late?" I told her we could stay at Megan's if she wanted us to and she said "whatever"

We ended up driving back to our apartment at 1:00am and I don't know what is going to happen in the morning but I just can't stand this anymore. I never really went through that teenager stage and I know that's what this is but can someone please tell me what I need to do. I hate this and I don't want it to keep me from going to the concert!

Thank you for reading this and I know that it's probably stupid for me to post it but I can't handle this on my own. Mom's and anyone who has gone through this PLEASE HELP!

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Angela Sarah Zischke on September 3, 2011 at 11:13pm

Aww sorry for your situation. U must be very upset if u still can't go to concert. Hope u guys work it out soon

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Permalink Reply by Nienke on September 4, 2011 at 1:34am

That's sad! :(

Maybe your parents are a little concerned?

I would go to them and have a talk to sort things out!

Hope you still can go to the concert, you can't miss it!

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Permalink Reply by M@ry!!! :D on September 4, 2011 at 2:00am

I agree with Nienke.Maybe you should have a talk all together.But I think they should give you a little more freedom,you have grown up.Don't have a fight with them.They are just parents and all parents try to protect their kids.They are worried about you,and that's good,because they show that they care so much about you.They should let you go to the concert.Maybe you can do something to make them rely on you and see that you are not a kid anymore.This is my opinion.Hope you can finally go to the concert!!!:)

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Permalink Reply by Enriquebabe on September 4, 2011 at 3:12am

It seems to be more your Dad that is angry rather than your Mum; he is probably struggling to deal with the fact that you are growing up.....but it seems a bit harsh to stop you from going to the concert.

Anyway the best advice would be to try to talk with him and let him know exactly how you feel. Yes you changed your plans, but you let your mother know that you were changing your plans and you didn't just not turn up.

It's hard to work parents out sometimes........but you need your friends as well so you have to be firm and stand your ground.....

I hope you can still go to the concert.

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Permalink Reply by Henriette on September 4, 2011 at 3:50am

Dear Sarah! First, it is a good idea to share your concerns with others. We can answer if we want or just read it....

I´m a mother of 2 girls aged 16 and 19 years. (I do not know how old you are?) But my girls are not sweet to help out at home with cleaning, etc. So I can be very disappointed and mad sometimes. As long as you live at home, I think that we should help each other. BUT you don´t live at home anymore, so it sounds like your parents have trouble accepting, that you are about to be adult.
Then I think that it seems as if your mother is very''spoiled''. Why should you go home to help her bring the groceries in ? You have your own life now... Your father can do that, when he is back from work or she can do it on her own (If she´s not sick or something like that)
Why shouldn´t you go to the concert? Of course.....You should go to the concert.

I think it's all about your parents, can´t accept that you are growing up. And trust me I feel the same way, when my youngest daughter goes to the Disco friday and saturday night.... (she my little girl :)

How do you fix this problem? it´s difficult, but when I was 18 years old, I wrote a letter to my father, I wrote all the my feelings about our situation and try to explain it with my words. They can´t interrupt when you are trying to tell them something. But maybe they will be angry, maybe they understand better. it's worth a try.

Good luck Sarah.....

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Permalink Reply by Trudie N595E on September 4, 2011 at 4:04am

I think Henriette gave you a good advice. I'm a mother myself, with (almost) grown up children. I myself don't find it hard to let them go, but I see a lot of friends who feel sorry for the period in life that has ended: the time when they had a family with children at home. They somehow try to keep that situation by asking their kids to constantly keep in touch and still do chores at home. Some understanding from your side for this 'empty nest' feeling can be helpful, but your parents should realize they have to let you go in order to keep you. You know they are concerned, and they love you. That is what is behind this.

Writing a letter is always a good idea, no interruptions and no angry shouting. Ask them to write you a letter back before the lot of you get together and discuss it.

And of course you go to the concert. That has nothing to do with the other situation, and they should not use it as a kind of blackmail. You'd probably better not call it that way, but that is what it is.

Good luck, Sarah!

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Permalink Reply by Sarah Smeltzer on September 4, 2011 at 7:57am

I'm almost 19 and I also believe that my mom is spoiled. She isn't sick or anything but we were in a car accident when I was 5 and she had some minor brain damage and she is still dealing with that (things like dizziness and weakness in her legs). I never thought about writing a letter, I'll try that.

@Trudie I agree. I have paid for everything when it comes to the concert but I have to have someone over 21 to book a hotel room so they have to come with me. It is blackmail but I don't really know how I would be able to go without them.

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Permalink Reply by Sarah Smeltzer on September 4, 2011 at 7:51am

Thanks everyone! I knew that I just needed to get it out there somewhere and I couldn't put it on fb because my mom would see it. Thank you so much for responding, it's always great to get other people's point of view. My dad called me this morning and appoligized, saying that he probably overreacted. I still don't think the whole issue is resolved but I don't think it ever will be seeing as it's about us leaving home. I haven't talked to my mom yet but I think she was just tired last night and didn't want us in danger.

Thanks again!