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Today it's seven years ago that my dad sadly passed away. I still can't believe it after all these years. Still wishing he would come back and I could hug him and tell him how much I love him. I miss him sooooooooooooooo much. It hurts like hell.
I know he's better off cause cause he doesn't have to suffer anymore. Every day was so painfull for him. We all felt so sorry and made it as easy for him as we could. But he was the one in pain.
He passed away on a Sunday at 12 (noon). And I do mean at 12 o clock exactly. My dad was in the hopital because he had to much moisture in his legs. How he became worse ... nobody knows. The day they wanted to release him he collapsed. Just when my mom arrived. They had to work on him to get him back and they did it. But he had to stay in the hospital of course. Two days before he died his doctor passed by cause he was going on vacation and my dad asked him if he was going to die. And the doctor said : no way. I will see you in my office here when I come back. You will leave shortly from the hospital. You can't imagine how relieved we all were.
So that Saturday I finally could breath again after two aweful weeks and went out to see some friends. I got home at 3 am and took my cellphone with me which I normally never did. At 6 am he went off and it was my brother in law telling me my dad had a cardiac arrest. They found him like that in the room and worked on him for 45 minutes. Just when they wanted to stop he came back. Like he wanted to wait for us to arrive.
The ride to my mom was aweful since I live about one hour away from her. When I arrived my sister was there already and we all left to see my dad in the hospital in Brussels. But he was no longer at conscious ! I asked the professor what his chances were and he started to talk about I don't know how long he was without a heartbeat or breath so and so on. But I was like : tell me the percentage and he said : 10 % ! Then I realised ... it's over ! I didn't wanted to say that to my mom and sis but 10 % is nothing. They were gonna try one more thing but we had to leave for that. Cause it was possible that he was going to bleed from every opening. So they send us back home but I gave my cellphone number to the professor. In the same time I called my brother who lives in Ireland to let him know what the professor said.
We were just at my mom's place (only 15 minutes by car) when the professor called me and said : hurry back cause he ain't gonna make it ! I can't tell you how you feel at that moment. They all looked at me with those big scary eyes and I had to tell them that we had to go back cause he was going to die. We hurried back and my mom, my sister and I held his right hand and we cried and wanted to say so much but we couldn't. We were like paralyzed. The only thing we could say was : come on dad. Don't leave us. Stay. We need you ! But we saw how his values went down and down and down untill he passed away. At 12 O clock at noon. I will never ever forget this moment. He just became 66 years on the 13th of July and a few days later he wasn't there anymore.
Sorry to write it in on the forum. It's not Enrique related. But I know I can find some comfort in here. It's not an easy day and although the tears are running on my cheeks I will have a drink on him. Also have some toast to eat with something on it and some salami and cheese, etc ... ! To honour my dad ! Rest in Peace sweet dad of mine. I miss you lots but I know you are watching over me and only want the best for me. Love ya lots ! Mwuah !
Love,
Hildeke !
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Permalink Reply by Sarah N. on July 17, 2012 at 8:35pm Beautiful sad tribute dear Hildeke...you lost him way too young..i will keep you and him in my prayers and do beleive somehow they do watch over us...thanks for sharing your grief and messages of support to me..I am praying for you and yours to be able to have less pain and more good memories year to year..in Heaven I here it is timeless which isimpossible to comprehend on this level.,.I am sure many years down the line ..when your time finally comes...he will be there for you..and all will be better than we can imagine now...well this is my hope..all healed on the other side...prayers and love, and joy to you too..you deserve joy in your life..Sarah
Permalink Reply by Hildeke on July 20, 2012 at 7:17am Thanks everyone for your sweet and nice words. Words of comfort and support. It really did and does me some good. You are all such amazing and wonderful people. I know I can share my story in here. Even if I do that every year. This place always felt like my second home. Maybe cause I'm on it since 2000. Don't know ! But all your words makes my heart feel so warm inside. This is what you need when you feel so sad and down and miss someone so much. I have some awesome hijas, hijos, hermanas, hermanos, amigas, amigos and family. Thank you so much for everything. This really means a lot to me ! Mwuah !
Warm hugs,
Hildeke !
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