Are you vain?
Yeah, but that’s because of the business I’m in. If I wasn’t in showbusiness I wouldn’t care as much about how I look, but when you’re doing photoshoots and making videos you’ve gotta look good.
Do you look forward to the day when you can let it all go?
That’s happening already. But yeah, I do look forward to letting it all go and hanging out, drinking beer with my big-ass stomach, scratching my cojones.
You’ve joked about being less than well-endowed, but what’s the truth?
Well, what guy with a small penis actually jokes about that? Having said that, it’s a good thing if I say I have a small one, because then you’ve got the element of surprise. When people see it they’ll go, ‘Wow, it’s not as small as I thought it was going to be!’ The best thing to do is start dating a girl with small hands…
So, go on, tell us, how do you measure up?
I was interviewed by a sexologist once who told me the average size is five-and-a-half inches, so I measured myself. There were a bunch of sleepless nights after that, let me tell you. No, I’m kidding – I’m doing OK down there.
Are you a Speedos or shorts type of guy?
You wouldn’t catch me in Speedos, not in a million years. What happens if you get an erection on the beach? How are you going to hide it in Speedos?
What’s been your filthiest fan mail?
I’ve had all kinds of dirty stuff like, ‘Do me in the a**!’ They also throw underwear on stage, but it’s usually bras rather than knickers. I guess a bra is easier to get off.
How does it feel being labelled a sex god?
It’s flattering, but I don’t get why people see me that way. I certainly don’t look in the mirror each morning and think, ‘I’m a sex god!’ Maybe it’s the Latin thing. Mind you, I thought David Beckham was supposed to be the sexiest man in the world and he’s British.
Would you ever do underwear ads like the ones Beckham has done?
I don’t think I have the package for that! If they can Photoshop the pictures and make my manhood look bigger, then maybe. But they must have done that with Beckham, right?
Well, if that’s all him then it makes the rest of us feel like sh*t!
How about posing naked?
Hell, no! I don’t look good naked. I’ve got chicken legs and my balls hang too low. I hear they get lower and saggier as you get older, and that’s f**ked up. I’ll have to tuck mine into my socks.
How do you stay so buff?
I don’t have a regime. I reckon I must have good genes, because I’m pretty lazy. If I’m at home in Miami I might work out, but when I’m on the road touring I don’t usually bother. Although when you’re performing every night you really work up a sweat.
Do you have a six pack?
Not any more. That’s the first thing to go when you hit 30. I’m getting a bit of a belly, so I should be eating healthier, but I like greasy food.
Are you naturally hairless or do you shave your chest?
I shave it. There’s not a huge amount of growth there, but I do think it looks better when it’s neat and tidy.